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Look Both Ways

by Sonja Malton

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1.
Winter 02:12
2.
There once was a time I was trembling with all my clothes on And using all my will Well look at me now; I'm standing here with all my clothes gone And I can say at least I'm still standing But I'm standing still I'm standing still And I'm trying but don't know where I should be moving to So I'm crying 'cause I'm afraid I might be losing who I am There once was a time I wasn't looking for salvation Just running forward And every step was free Well look at me now on a stead diet of self-deprecation I've somehow chosen to stand frozen And don't know what will become of me And I'm falling just out of reach of she who I should be by now And I'm calling out her name but she's too far away to figure out I'm just standing still Standing still And I'm frowning but you know I never mean to be unkind I'm just drowning in the fear of being left behind 'Cause I'm standing still There was a time when I still wished upon the stars There was a time when I could smile without trying to There was a time before I got all of my scars And before I was afraid I might be losing you So take my hand and take me with you 'Cause I'm standing still.
3.
Simple Song 03:22
Here I go again Here I try to make something beautiful out of confusion And I remember when there were simple tunes With no deeper meaning and music was easy As easy as pots and spoons Everyone has scars Everyone has times of insanity and of humanity Everyone has stars that they wish upon And wars they are fighting with nobody lighting the way For what's right or wrong Take a look in the mirror The path has been clear all along And I know someday I may find There is no more to life than what's standing in front of me And although I go out of my mind Trying to reason with time it will always catch up with me There's no pause or rewind You just love every moment you spend in the sun So this time the song is a simple one This song is a simple one Mmm... Here I go again Here I try reminding myself that I'm one in a million And we all need a hand when the road is long And what can I do but just strike up a tune And invite you to sing along? Bring your pots and your spoons and we'll take on the world With a simple song All we need is a simple song Mmm...
4.
Stay Awake 04:39
I was walking through the snow I was humming along to rhythm of my Boots underneath my feet I was walking - to where? I don't know On a cold grey night, down a cold grey street Came like shadows over my eyes Came like puppets to put on a show What if I'm going crazy this time? Came like pleasure in clever disguise So to soften the blow, but I know my own mind I've been through enough wretchedness To know what a test it is So stay awake with me Say what's been has been, but it won't be again I know I won't sleep So stay awake with me It begins with applause and the lights going dim Quickly comes the prologue, in no time I've been willfully stolen away I unfurrow my brow, and I unclench my chin Well the show is begun, so I might as well stay And the show must go on, so I might as well play But I've withstood enough sticks and stones To know I can't do this alone So stay awake with me Say what's been has been, but it won't be again I know I won't sleep So stay awake with me Open the curtain and what will I find? Is it all right to cry? Go through the motions, and read all my lines as the night passes by me And I know there's no going back there's no changing the part I played But maybe it's just enough to know that someone will Stay awake with me Say what's been has been, but it won't be again I know I won't sleep So stay awake with me I was walking through the snow I was drumming along to the rhythm of My heart on its unsteady beat I was watching the spring come in slow And wondering why I don't get some sleep Just get some sleep Stay awake with me Stay awake with me Stay awake with me
5.
I don't have a car But I can ride my bike fairly well And I don't mind the rain; not at all And I am healthy as far as I can tell So why complain? I don't own a house I can barely pay my rent often times But I have got a room of my very own Where I can sit and write all my lovesick rhymes So how can I complain, when there's food for eating? How can I complain, when there's air for breathing? How can I complain, when there's songs to sing? How can I complain about anything? I have lots of days that aren't so great Where I don't feel I'll ever get very far Where I don't like my face; not at all But then I turn to my non-judgemental old guitar And how can I complain, when music is singing? How can I complain? I've got this chance at living How can I complain, when there's joy to bring? How can I complain about anything, anything? I've got a bed for sleeping, and a heart that's beating A passion lighting, a fire igniting A song worth writing, a love worth fighting for I don't have a car But I don't mind the rain; not at all
6.
I Don't Mind 03:57
With falling rain comes falling faces And falling chances of going places But I don't mind, I don't mind the weather With rising puddles come rising troubles But you and I've got sighs and cuddles So I don't mind, I don't mind the weather 'Cause it's a lovely day for watching movies It's a lovely day for having nowhere else to be We close all of the blinds and sink into the cushions It's a lovely day as long as you're with me We lose all power and spend an hour Playing cards and "Would you Rather?" But I don't mind, I don't mind the weather Outside it's pouring but we're ignoring And time with you is never boring So I don't mind, I don't mind the weather 'Cause it's a lovely day for being lazy It's a lovely day for having nothing much to do Maybe later on we'll go outside and try out kissing in the rain It's a lovely day as long as I'm with you As long as I'm with you So I don't mind I don't mind I don't mind I don't mind It's a lovely day for telling stories It's a lovely day to have your smile within my view So try to stay perfectly still It's a lovely as long as I'm with you
7.
It's time to put the lining in your coat The cold is coming; The cold is coming soon It's time to find your mittens and your scarf The leaves are falling; The buds no longer bloom I'm scared of feeling low when cold wind starts to blow It happens almost every time The sun's too far away and the whole world turns to grey And every day's an upward climb But maybe Maybe This time I'll be fine, 'cause... You are the sunlight to me When winter makes me cold and numb Then you are all I need So let darkness come, 'cause love, You are the sun I'll crawl into my room and fashion a cuccoon And sleep a week, or maybe three or four But then you will appear and whisper in my ear Remind me there's still something I adore So maybe Maybe This time I'll smile a little more, 'cause... You are the sunlight to me When winter makes me cold and numb Then you are all I need So let darkness come, 'cause love You are the sun You are the sun You are the sun Hmm... It's time to put the lining in your coat But I'm not worried; Not a bit this time It's time to find your mittens and your scarf But I'll stay warm as long as you stay mine So let darkness come
8.
Let Me Be 04:22
Collected boxes and I packed them up With memories and bubble wrap Made sure that they remained the right side up With "Caution" written on the back "Should not be shaken" I went to sleep that night I turned out all the lights thinking the coast was clear 'Cause I'd stacked them tight under my bed And said "Now there's no room for monsters here" I was mistaken So come out, come out, wherever you may be I think I'm ready now for you to come and find me Too many nights have I been terrified to fall asleep Too many fights have I had with something inside of me Controlling, holding memories I don't want to keep So tired of hiding out, so let the walls come down If I let you in, do you promise now to let me be? A castle made of sand So many years ago and yet so few it seems A wave came crashing and I watched it fall And still I see it in my dreams: The Desecration Oh, how I wept that day As it was swept away into the angry tide And I've tried to build again, and then again But there was nowhere left to hide From devastation So come on, come on, there is no castle wall All my defences gone, but this time I refuse to fall Too many nights have I been terrified to fall asleep Too many fights have I had with something inside of me Controlling, holding memories I don't want to keep So tired of hiding out, so let the walls come down If I let you in, do you promise now to let me be? Let me be Well it's been long enough, and I've had enough I made a vow, 'cause I'm stronger now The scars are deep from what you've done to me But once the fear is gone I'll be moving on Too many nights have I been terrified to fall asleep Too many fights have I had with someone inside of me Controlling, holding memories I don't want to keep So tired of hiding out, so let the walls come down I'm gonna let you in if you promise now To leave me.
9.
I find my- self saying the word "I" far too much I'll step back So tell me about your day Tell me three Things that made you happy Since I last saw you, And smile at me Smile at me And feel the pull of the world As we twist and we twirl Through a new slew of worryings Feel the slow moving hands There is no need to hurry, love You and I Have had many sleepless nights Spent saying "take your time. I'm here, you can cry on me" You touch your nose To my nose and music grows To swelling crescendos Point your feet toward me and dance with me Dance with me And hear the pull of the world As we whoosh and we whirl Through a new slew of worryings Hear the slow moving hands There is no need to hurry, love Love there's no need to hurry Found today Three strands of hair turned grey Watch how our laugh lines deepen Keep laughing and age with me Age with me And see the pull of the world As we slowly unfurl Through our new slew of worryings See the slow moving hands There is no need to hurry And feel the joy of the world As we dance and we twirl Through the new years unravelling Feel your hand placed in mine Let us not miss a moment There's no need to hurry, love. No need to hurry.
10.
Wedding Song 04:35
Let's pack our bags lightly We've got a long way to go To the tip top end of the world Seems like a lovely night To have my life completed by a beautiful, beautiful girl So you grab so blankets and food and I, I'll bring the poetry and you, You'll dance out under the moon and I, I'll smile incessantly And the world will turn discreetly And we'll grow old so sweetly Well you know I'm slightly broken But you like to keep the pieces Just to have to hold So you take mine and I'll take yours We'll keep each other walking down this forever road So you grab so blankets and food and I, I'll bring the poetry and you, You'll dance out under the moon and I, I'll smile incessantly And the world will turn discreetly And we'll grow old so sweetly And we are not without flaws But beauty never seems to be And love is not without laws But darling, lay them on me 'Cause now I never have to live a moment without you again My oh my, well pinch my skin I must be dreaming Let's pack our bags lightly We'll have more than we need Tucked in between unspoken rhymes Isn't it a lovely night? 'Cause from now, 'til ever after, I am yours and you are mine. You are mine. I am yours and you are mine. So we'll grab some blankets and food and we'll Make time for poetry and we We'll dance out under the moon and we We'll laugh incessantly And the world will turn discreetly And we could not love more deeply And we'll grow old so sweetly Because, love, you complete me

credits

released March 16, 2017

Additional vocals (I Don't Mind): Lynn Scott
Album photography: Libby Askin
Mixing and Mastering: Eric Duerrstein

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Sonja Malton Waterloo, Ontario

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