Let Me Be

from Look Both Ways by Sonja Malton

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lyrics

Collected boxes and I packed them up
With memories and bubble wrap
Made sure that they remained the right side up
With "Caution" written on the back
"Should not be shaken"

I went to sleep that night
I turned out all the lights thinking the coast was clear
'Cause I'd stacked them tight under my bed
And said "Now there's no room for monsters here"
I was mistaken

So come out, come out, wherever you may be
I think I'm ready now for you to come and find me

Too many nights have I been terrified to fall asleep
Too many fights have I had with something inside of me
Controlling, holding memories I don't want to keep
So tired of hiding out, so let the walls come down
If I let you in, do you promise now to let me be?

A castle made of sand
So many years ago and yet so few it seems
A wave came crashing and I watched it fall
And still I see it in my dreams:
The Desecration

Oh, how I wept that day
As it was swept away into the angry tide
And I've tried to build again, and then again
But there was nowhere left to hide
From devastation

So come on, come on, there is no castle wall
All my defences gone, but this time I refuse to fall

Too many nights have I been terrified to fall asleep
Too many fights have I had with something inside of me
Controlling, holding memories I don't want to keep
So tired of hiding out, so let the walls come down
If I let you in, do you promise now to let me be?
Let me be

Well it's been long enough, and I've had enough
I made a vow, 'cause I'm stronger now
The scars are deep from what you've done to me
But once the fear is gone I'll be moving on

Too many nights have I been terrified to fall asleep
Too many fights have I had with someone inside of me
Controlling, holding memories I don't want to keep
So tired of hiding out, so let the walls come down
I'm gonna let you in if you promise now
To leave me.

credits

from Look Both Ways, released March 16, 2017

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Sonja Malton Waterloo, Ontario

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